But I encourage women to ask yourselves, how realistic are your expectations? If he forgets to pick up the milk on his way home, is he “the worst husband ever” or just a guy who forgot to stop at the store?
And ask yourselves, too, if there’s a double standard in place when it comes to your own behavior.
And when you only agree to have sex with us if we treat you like a princess, you’re setting up an unhealthy dynamic of exchange rather than sharing and cheapening intimacy by expecting us to pay for it.Women are givers but men are givers, too, and just as much as women, we need to be recognized and reminded that we matter to you.Make us feel irrelevant in the relationship, and we’ll seek relevance elsewhere, by working late hours, spending more time with male friends, or ultimately finding a companion who makes us feel important and valued.Many men are left with the feeling, “I’m a lucky schmuck who doesn’t really deserve to be with this goddess, I’m tolerated only by her good graces, and at any moment I could screw up and end up alone in the cold.” This dynamic of unworthiness makes for weak men, not strong ones. It doesn’t mean you have to accept anything or anyone you don’t want.But it does mean we need you to be civil and kind when refusing a genuine offer of companionship and affection.