It's not uncommon for divorced men, especially if they think their ex is a less-than-adequate mother, to want you to come in and fill a "mommy hole" for his children.
Men may not consciously realize this, but most divorced men I work with will admit to wanting their new partner to be a bit like Mother Teresa and Mary Poppins combined.
what with climbing in and out of the divorce dating pool for years.
While I highly recommend dating divorced men -- dare I admit that I've done so on two continents?
-- I would be remiss if I didn't also share some cautions to keep in mind.
The truth is a large number of young adult stepchildren who've had a stepmother for years report not feeling close to them. These are things many don't think about when dating and getting serious with a guy who has kids. Also keep in mind, he will still have many "firsts" with you.
You would be wise to make it clear that you have no intentions of trying to buck nature (blood is thicker than water) and are more than willing to treat his children in kind and loving ways and support him in his role as a parent. "Our love will conquer all" is a statement I've heard frequently by couples when they're in the throes of passion and phermones.
Fantasies of "The Brady Brunch" and a "blended" family are attached to, despite the fact that neither one of these are realistic for most.
Your guy loves you, thinks your terrific, and may want you to sprinkle your magic fairy dust around and help him clean up any mess left over from his previous marriage and divorce. There is no such thing as a "bonus mom" unless the kids themselves decide to see you that way and the majority of them won't.
"You are not my mother" is not only a declaration made by kids, it's the truth. Know that his children will most likely take a long time to accept you.