It may be hard to find a guy who is, in your words, an “attractive, intelligent, funny, fit, sane, patient, caring, affectionate, well dressed, and generous person who puts a high priority on trust and honesty. It was a noble experiment, but I was fundamentally miserable, because any second that I wasn’t writing, I was unhappy. Because that’s what it’s gonna look like when all is said and done. There are many women whose husbands support them, but generally they’re raising kids, which is a colossally more important undertaking than oil painting. I take it moving into a studio apartment on your property would feel too much like co-habitating to you?
“ Which brings us to the point about the portrait you’re painting of the artist as a middle-aged man. As far as the men who support wives who make art, or do charity, or shop, or workout obsessively, I’m guessing that they’re valuing these qualities “attractive, intelligent, funny, fit, sane, patient, caring, affectionate, well dressed, and generous.” over their wives’ ability to make a buck. You love him, you’ve been together for 3 years – minus a period of time where you explored “what else is out there”. After 3 years together why do want him to have so little interaction?
I am an attractive, fit 49 year old mom of three girls (14, 17, 20).
I was married for 19 years, now single for 4 years.
He seems reluctant to take other jobs that take away from his art career… we are compatible and enjoy each other, but my libido far surpasses his…. It may be situational, but he may just have lower libido than mine.
He’s not really a passionate kisser – except during sex – and I miss this I broke things off about 18 months ago for the reasons of lack of passion, concerns that he would never want to get married, etc.
I can’t help but think you like your life just the way it is, and the way it is is compartmentalized.
That’s okay, but have you explained it to your lover?
It won’t be hard to find a guy who wants to have sex more. Are you okay supporting a fourth child when the nest is finally empty?
I may or may not agree with your black and white thinking but it’s not my job to tell you that. But, once again, this isn’t a question that anyone else can answer. Have you ever talked with your boyfriend about his libido?
You don’t want to get married while the kids are at home? I mean, you’ve been together for 3 years – has this subject ever been breached before?
We live about 30 miles away from each other and take turns staying at each other’s homes on my kid-free weeks most nights that I am free.
My areas of concern are: 1) His financial situation: I’m a self-sufficient homeowner who doesn’t need financial support.