I can’t MAKE someone fall in love with me, nor can I manipulate the situation to work in my favor.
I have to just be myself and if they want to board Suzie’s Magic Fun Bus then they are more than welcome! I don’t play games, I don’t tell men what they want to hear in order to get them to like me. I learned the hard way that those “tactics” never work in my favor. But, it certainly took me a while to get to this place.
There is one thing that can stand in between you and your dating goals and that’s your dating expectations. I focused too much on what I wanted and what I was looking for that I forget to enjoy the process. Some people just want to enjoy someone’s company, some just want sex, some want a companion, while others are looking for a life partner, or marriage. Well, we like to be in control of our lives and our situations. We all have an idea about how our lives should be and how things should turn out and when they don’t we can’t really handle it and stress ourselves out trying to get it where we want when in reality we are forcing something that just isn’t meant to be. How many times do you try and manipulate a situation to get a someone to like you or want to be with you? You’ve tried playing hard to get, you’ve tried giving them everything they said they want, but really where did that get you? You should never have to force it, it should just BE.
Dating can be one of two things, dating can suck or dating can be a fun way of self-exploration. Yes, I agree completely that there a lot of ass hats out there. That’s why I always remind everyone that focusing on the process NOT the dating outcomes is where you need to be to manage dating expectations. Whatever you are looking for, managing your dating expectations will help you get there. Well, if you’re expecting a big love story overnight, then think again. Love that’s developed over time means so much more. Show of hands, how many times have you refused to let go of a hopeless dating situation just because you just KNOW it’s meant to be? It got you nowhere fast because in reality, if someone wants to be with you they will be with you because you’re both naturally on the same page. While it’s important to be clear about your intentions and expectations, you also need to manage your dating expectations by being realistic in order to get where you want to be.
Men are 50% of the population and some of them are friends with women. We can see you are being passive-aggressive so something must be wrong. Most of us have these small rules when it comes to dating: “no kissing on the first date”, “the 5 date rule”, and so on. If you are, indeed, “worth it”, we’ll break the rules without any extra encouragement from your side.
As a man, you are likely not used to spilling out all your feelings and troubles. Yet, in most cases we cannot read your mind and magically guess the reason. Guys, we sometimes don’t mind having just a casual physical connection and not being in a relationship.
Don’t get swept up in a dream world because you will definitely get burned.
Appreciate the body we have and we will love you that much more.
Just too many guys these days falsely assume that while they are still playing the field, hooking up, and going on dates with other girls, we would show the outmoded notion of chivalry and sit at home, patiently waiting for your call.
To me, attraction and a connection with the other person is key, as well as ambition. Also, I think of a new prospect like a puzzle piece, I ask myself if they really truly fit into my life’s puzzle or if I would have to force it. Things always fall in place where they’re supposed to. After my divorce, I learned that I can’t control everything that happens to me.
I love seeing someone excited about what they are doing, to have goals and to achieve them. Regardless of how hot they are or how successful or how they make me feel, I need to make sure they are the right person for me and that takes time. That, my friends, is how I manage MY dating expectations. Although I have an idea of where I want to be, I can’t plan out my life and expect it all to fall into place in a nice neat package.