Are you OK with chit chatting and tippy tapping with people late at night when you could be asleep or laying bricks in real life instead of building sandcastles in the sky? If a guy doesn’t ‘get’ why a woman who has never met him before doesn’t want to invite him over to her place and certainly not late at night, that’s a code red alert and don’t bother making it your job to educate him.
Are you OK with having virtual strangers over to your place or meeting them at night? Self-awareness as well as regard and respect for others involves being aware of your own rights and those of the people whom you engage with.
It’s one thing to be naive out of genuine lack of experience (many of us have been there including me) but it’s another thing to claim naivety due to trying to convince yourself that it’s not what it is. Of course you could do the whole I’m Going To Be The Exception and This Could Be One Of Those Few Times When It Really Is A Chat thing but you could just as easily steer it to meeting at an earlier time. The sad thing is that if you’re a People Pleaser who feels bad about saying no even when you really want or need to, you will end up agreeing against your better judgement.
You’re trying to tell me that they have absolutely no daylight or early evening time in the next week or two? Whatever happened to Stranger Danger and being a bit street smart?
I smell bullshit and that kind of reasoning is actually even more of a reason as to why you shouldn’t meet, after all, if they’re so frickin’ busy, where is this going to go?
Also, it’s easy to claim that this isn’t an intention and then for them to go, While some people will tell you straight up what they’re truly intending in these situations, most won’t because you’re likely to say no and/or they’re trying to preserve a certain image of themselves.
You’ll either know this through experience or just from awareness of your own boundaries. If they also ask to meet at your place, that’s just very odd.That’s why we take our time to read every comment before it is posted.(That’s also why there’s some lag time before your comment shows up.) We greatly appreciate your presence here and welcome your participation 24/7/365.I’m not suggesting that we see a predator in everyone and imagine that we’re going to be chopped into little pieces and rolled up in a carpet, but if you are dating, you need to be stranger aware and you certainly shouldn’t allow, (1) your ego, (2) your libido, (3) excessive politeness (read: people-pleasing), (4) any dodgy assumptions, and (5) the most insidious and annoying – other people’s opinions and projections – to run the show.Worrying too much about the asker’s take on things or giving too much credence to the opinions and projections of family and friends just messes with your gut.