While it can be fun to go on a bunch of dates with different people, it can also make you feel like you're floating alone on your own little island of solitude.For happily married people, the trials of meeting a mate are ancient history that they've completely glossed over.“I am flawed.” “If I spill my guts to someone else, they will run.” “I can’t be vulnerable.” “I’m not enough.” “I’m going to die alone.” “If I commit I will be trapped.” And on and on. When you hear yourself repeating any of these negative statements, say, “stop” and replace the thought with a positive affirmation.I like to use “I am whole, I am love,” but use a positive statement about your worth that resonates with you.When you strongly view yourself as a whole person who is looking for someone to share your life with, it takes away some of the fear that they won’t like you, that your destiny is hanging on this outing, and that if they don’t approve of you, you are back to square one.So many people carry around the same negative thoughts about their desirability.“Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth.” ~Unknown I'm all too aware that dating can feel like a grinding, painful roller coaster to nowhere.
I had fallen into the trap of letting my opinions of my failed relationships shape my opinion of myself. While it was often an uncomfortable, awkward, painful, struggle, eventually I was ecstatic when I found a few that seemed to fit.
Each time someone isn’t right for you and shows you that, honor their decision even if you feel differently. Do not use the experience as proof that you aren’t good enough.
You have an infinite well of love to give another person. Do not underestimate its worth to a potential mate. You must maintain the belief that there are more than a few who would love your company.
Meeting someone new, going on a few great dates, getting excited, having one/both of you sort of stop calling; then repeating the process over and over is enough to make you want to give up for good.
The ups and downs in this cycle can make you feel like you are unbalanced and have whiplash.