So chill out, other people have a right to their views too. What he was referring to was when someone goes OUT OF THEIR WAY to put that phrase, ‘my kids come first’, in a profile or write it during a conversation (how does that even come up in conversation???
) there are HUGE issues there and the person reading it should run for dear life. So there was no need for you to “counter” with “why I would put my child over a man” because he wasn’t arguing that point - you veered off into a completely different direction with your rant.
But Vondie Lozano, licensed marriage and family therapist, has some other not-so-obvious flags to add to the list.
Self-description: If the user name or headline is weird, overtly sexual or otherwise inappropriate — Bangyourdaddy, 69Reasons — you can stop there, says Trish Mc Dermott, a founding team member of
Also avoid people that disclose too much, whether it’s a recent staph infection, bankruptcy or bad breakup.
And Mc Dermott recommends steering clear of people who don’t have kids but use undue space in their profile soliciting information about the age and sex of your children.
If the person is single, what else would they put in their photos, but their dog, etc? So, I don’t even read profiles that say, “..children will always come first.” I think kids are really cool, but I don’t need to be in a relationship where I will always com second. This is by far not the only one, but it is the easiest to explain.
You’re definitely projecting…which kinda proves MIKW’s point… Matter of fact, the only time it wouldn’t be a red flag is if it was said by some misguided man who thought women would be super duper impressed because it showed ‘just how much’ he loves his kids…This, again, is something we hope would be the case, lol.
Of course it goes without saying that kids come first. Actually, a man trying to impress women with something that should come naturally is a whole ‘nother kinda red flag… If you expect someone to give you all the benefits of a relationship but expect them to tolerate being down on your list of priorities, you have no business dating, full stop.
So improve your chance of success by keeping an eye out for the following red flags as you sort through potential date’s profiles: Photos: Photos can tell you a lot about a potential date.
No photo, or a grainy, out-of-focus or outdated photo, are a sign that the person probably has something to hide, or else is not really serious about the dating process.