It is critical that a woman says up front what she wants out of a relationship — and don’t worry about running a guy off. e Harmony: Does that mean that women should expect to spend some time alone while they are waiting for Mr. Most women — not all — but most women have to be emotionally attached to you to get physical with you. Steve Harvey: It is like this: You uncover a lot about a guy in 90 days. I have talked this over with a lot of men — all of my research in this book is from talking to men. It might not take you 90 days, but on a job, you spend eight hours a day five days a week getting to know a person before they give you benefits. He is not going to be a happy camper coming back, but sometimes a guy can make a mistake and he can learn from it and go, “Wow. I teach my sons that if I turn around and you are in that car and your mother and sisters are not in that car, I am crushing you because suppose something happens — a dog attack or something — and we are in the car and the girls are not, how can we protect them? Do you know that your boyfriend or your man is supposed to walk closest to the curb? He is supposed to pull your chair out at the restaurant; he is supposed to open the door for you at the mall. If you care about you, it causes someone else to care about you, too. A guy who is serious about you won’t run off, but you do want to run off the guys who are just coming to play. Or once they do, they are going to get physically attached to you eventually. I did “The Tyra Banks Show” and the authors of How To Love Like a Hot Chick: The Girlfriend to Girlfriend Guide to Getting the Love You Deserve were also there. You are not going to see a guy eight hours a day five days a week in the normal dating process. Now, you are not going to make it easy on this guy. I almost lost the best thing that ever happened to me.” e Harmony: What is the most interesting thing you have learned about yourself from love relationships? I can write a whole show in two weeks — that is 90 minutes of laughs. A man is supposed to open your car door and then get in the car himself. Just set those standards and requirements as a lady. But if you don’t care about how you look, you don’t care how you conduct yourself, or you don’t care how you sound when you talk — like cussing at the office — nobody is signing up for that. I am talking about a subject I am an absolute expert on and that is manhood. I don’t know a man who is, but I am an expert on manhood. I don’t care how much we make, what we do for a living, what our religion is or what color we are. So when I sat down to write this book, I wrote it from the standpoint of what I was an expert at and from where I had the greatest source of information — and that was all of my friends who happen to be men. It is real conversation from a man who has no ulterior motive other than to tell them the truth.They are from all walks of life — ballplayers, actors, truck drivers, insurance salesmen, guys I worked in the factory with when I was at Ford motors, and my father. e Harmony: So how are you friends reacting to your giving away their secrets?She sits with you, she puts your head in her lap, she rocks with you, she checks on you constantly, she will even lay down with you and she stays with you until you are okay. We fill the prescription for you, we will heat up a can of soup, and then we go in and watch ESPN and, if you need us, call us.We love you, but how we demonstrate that love is what I call the three Ps of love: We profess, we provide and we protect. You can go into a relationship wanting it to work — wanting a husband, wanting a family — but you can’t be too needy. Another red flag, a really simple thing for men is if you don’t take care of your house or your person, especially your feet and your hands.
In Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man Harvey reveals what men really think about love, relationships and commitment — and how women can tell if they have a man with whom they can make plans, or a man who is just playing with them.
I tell jokes for a check; I'm on TV for a check.
, is No.1 on the New York Times Hardcover Advice Best-Seller list and on
A woman should never be afraid to say what she wants, what she is looking for, and if a guy doesn’t want to do [what she lays out], let him go about his business, because we are going to be doing one of two things with you: We are going to be playing with you, or we are going to be planning with you. Steve Harvey: It is my firm belief that God has created someone for everyone. Why would God having created your soulmate never allow you to meet him/her? It was really eye-opening for me to put the words on the page and share the chapters with my wife.
Throw out all that stuff about there is a shortage of good men. My wife okayed the chapters and she said, “Steve, that is really good information for women because I didn’t know that.” That is what really helped me.