As Zmuda suggested, it is a matter of meeting the right person…cliché, I know.It is encouraging to read Rosenthal’s story about dating with cancer and to learn that she found hers, and when she did, he “released the pressure valve on four years of dating angst”…and this was only one and a half dates into their relationship!This person seems wonderful, but you don’t know each other that well, and you worry about the possibility of relapse.Do you want to fall for someone who may not grow old with you? Do you want to pursue a relationship with someone who might pass cancer on to your children?What if that person cannot even have children as a result of cancer treatment? No one has the luxury (or the woe, depending on how you look at it) of knowing how long they will live.Perhaps adoption is an option for them, but it is not a necessity for you. I absolutely do not blame anyone for not wanting to date a cancer survivor. Cancer patients, however, know how it feels to face the possibility of death, and many patients emerge from treatment with a new outlook.I love the image…I can practically hear the release as a poof of air shoots out.Almost every article or book I read mentioned practicing your cancer disclosure with a friend.
As it turns out, men and women both struggle with identifying the best time to tell a new love interest about their cancer history.I, for one, am fully aware that I fall under the category of a “tell-all personality”, and I choose to embrace the thinking that “there will always be a risk of rejection, just as in any relationship between two individuals.But if a new relationship is strong enough to overcome such a difficult emotional hurdle as cancer, think how strong it will be when faced with so many other life challenges that lie ahead.Resources: • (Curetoday.com) – this lists some on-line dating/friendship sites specifically for cancer patients (who knew that existed?!) • Young Survival Coalition – a wonderful organization specifically for young women with breast cancer…I posted a message on their forum requesting advice about when to tell my date about cancer, and their responses were thoughtful and detailed.